Thursday, August 02, 2007
SO SO SO SORRY!!!
Its been really really REALLY long since i last blogged.Totally my fault!Since coming back i havent been using my laptop you see and i was using my uncle's computer instead.And then they asked for my blog password which i totally forgot!Haha..so i was unable to get inside my own blog to post anything!Tsk tsk!Anyways its been really long and not so much stuff to say so you could only imagine how boring my life would be!
Unfortunately I'm not as fortunate as Dee who actually has someone waiting for her and eating M&M's with her to count the days down, nor am i like Jolyn to sms anyone special..Listening to Have you ever by Brandy and feeling so bloody jiwang.I just told Jolyn Ngo that i havent been feeling this way since she came back..its true you know!I mean yea Rama has passed my mind at times but not as before..
I know that everyone who's reading this is probably going hysterical thinking aiyo Archana get a fucking grip of yourself and get over him!Its not that..i got over him already..but i miss him, emotionally..he was like the best friend i had and i lost him and lost that part of the friendship too..You know its like you have this person that you can spill out everything too without any second thoughts, then suddenly this person isnt there anymore and you realise you have so much in you that you need to get out but no one else has filled that position so you dont really have an outlet for it???
Fadal told me straight to my face that i deserve better and that i should just forget him and find someone else!Theenesh on the hand provoked me otherwise today..he reminded me about how he never stopped trying to get Jasveen to go out with him tho it never happened..He said why not just sms or call?So i explained to him that when i do sms he doesnt reply oso and how he actually deleted my friendster message to him.But eh said just give it a shot and i did.N no suprise,he didnt pick up but eh didnt pick up nesh's call also but thats a whole diff story..
Some point of time in life we all do grow tired of being alone seeing everyone around us have someone to love,care,talk to,hang with,cuddle-you get the picture!We dont get jealous, not at all, for we are happy for those around us especially our friends. But its rather difficult not to wish that you too had joys of your own..Right?I miss all that..i just want someone to talk to,someone who would listen to me talk n talk n not complain that im talking too much,someone whom i can rest my head on, who i can feel safe and secure with..Jolyn said the other day that i expect to much..maybe i do??Maybe thats why finding someone is so difficult..
On another note,the damn russian agent is taking so fucking long before calling us!The damn dean has gone for a holiday so he hasnt signed mine and 45 other students papers!Ish..is your holiday more important than our future dear old sir??Ish!!(Mum crept up behind me and read what i just typed and told me that i shouldnt use such language!Maybela thats y i blog and dont give everyone my add??Haih!!!) I dont know what i want anymore you know..in life and stuff..everything so out of my hands..It gets hard to breathe when i stuff it all down my throat but then again theres no one like that for me to spill it all out to.I dont want anything..i just wanna have my dreams and make them real..i dont want anything else already..giving up on everything very slowly..very slowly..
I told
the story ...
10:00 PM
