Thursday, February 08, 2007
Dreaming of him....
If someone had asked me what did i think of my dad as a person,my good lord, i would have come up with a never-ending book about it!Thats how much i have to say about him,the best ever dad in the world..I was sleeping just a while ago,having my afternoon nap.It had been awhile since i dreamt of Acha but thats what happened today.In the dreams its like i just came back from kl or something and the whole family on my mums side(coz im closest to them) was going somewhere so everyone got into the bus.We were going out from perling i think coz the raods were damn familiar and suddenly we were in this house of some sort but it wasnt a place i knew of.There were rows and rows of books with a table at the side of all the rows and my mum,dad,and a few uncles were sitting there.I went over to my dad and sat on his lap like i used to and he told me that his left knee was aching and i stood up quickly and rubbed it and all that.Then i suddenly looked at him and asked, "Acha,why ah we arent like we used to be?What went wrong?",all this with tears flowing from my eyes and streaming down my cheeks falling onto his pants.And he repiled "I wanted to spend more time with you but it was such that i had to be away from home often and all.Im sorry.."He looked so sad,thinner than he used to and he had this look like he had somethings on his mind troubling him.I just hugged him the way i used to,the tight hugs where i felt like no one can take him away from me..Then i said its okie Acha,we'd make up for all those lost times..Then i was back talking with my cousins and they were talking bout my dads job and a few colleagues of his but i kept thinking why isit that i dont know all these people when i had known all my dads colleagues all of my life and it was like i was the only one who didnt know anything bout my own father.I felt so left out so i just kept staring at him as his and mums back were facing me..then i suddenly had this urge to run to him and tell him everything like how Cheta(my god brother) is now in Nottingham University and studying chemical engineering so he would end up like my ACha one day and all that..And suddenly the reality of acha not being alive anymore hit me..it was like a flashback where everything just came back to me..And i remember running as hard as i could to him,just wanting to grab anything of his that i could.Just to keep him with me ,immortalise that moment so he'd always be with me..And thats when i just woke up,tears streaming from my eyes.Could help but call mum and tell her bout the dream..was crying all the way but i didnt care anymore.I never wanted Amma to see the side of me that misses him so much but i just couldnt help it today..ITs gonna be two years in a few months but yet the pain remains the same..the tears flow the same,the questions still play in my head..I wanna go back to dreamland and see him once again,even if it means i have to be sleeping all the while..but id atleats get to be with him..OH,how i miss him so so much!I want him back,so badly..so so badly...Labels: Dreaming of him
I told
the story ...
3:53 PM
