Thursday, January 25, 2007
WHY...WHY NOW??
getting pissed and irritated and thinking it over like a million times..I actually agreed to give Raynard a chance..BUT theres a catch,no strings attached,no responsibilities,no commitment..I dont know what i was thinking coz this is the first time in my life that my best friend has no idea whats happening in my life.And it sucks..i know she wont approve..but i wanna break it to her myself when we go out soon..Jolyn was like,ARCHIE?!!?!I basically knew i was going to get that la..Coz personally thats how i feel at times.Like im getting myself into a bigger mess than i already am!Archana,Archana..even i have no idea what im thinking about at times!
Dont get me wrong..Raynards one of the nicest and sweetest guys around.Hes the kind of guy that when ppl meet him they like him already..But its like im in such a mess..n currently a bigger mess..We're very different tho..He's all so laid back and im all about stress!Haha..Typical Archana..
There's something else that just HAD to complicate things..Theres this guy in my college..Last semester i hardly spoke to him coz truthfully i never thought much about him especially when he started going after this girl who me n my frenz didnt have a great impression of..But recently we actually started talking and my god,he reminds me so much of Rama!Not that his personality is like Rama but that ease of being round him..the way without nowing i searched for him at the corner of my eyes..My god!Its crazy!Why didnt this happen like sooner??Like now i feel guilty coz of Raynard..i feel like im such a bitch..this is exactly why i didnt want a relationship!Coz when im not ready and sure this is what happens..But this guy..i dunnoe how to explain it..
JO!!What am i to do??Of coz im not reading into anything..Though all my frens are like..hmm,wats going on and Kristin being the babe she is already came to her conclusion and when i opened up to her she was like i already though bout the both of u yesterday!Haha..Im gonna pretend that i dont feel anything and if he gives signs let it be..until im sure,id just be as screwed up and as messed up as i am now..
I need some chocolate therapjy!!
I told
the story ...
4:12 PM
