Me, Myself And All That I Will Ever Be...

Monday, January 01, 2007

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Its amazing how fast time flies..it seems like 2006 had just begun yet we're already welcoming a brand new year <2007>.Hope that the new year brings luck and joy to all those that i love and know.May we all learn to appreciate each other better and tolerate each others weaknesses!Haha..ironic coz im the one with the least patience!
Like every otha year i did come up with a few resolutions..hopefully this year i actually stick by them and not just stare at list at the end of the year hoping i had achieved atleats a few of them!Hehe..the ever famous list:
1) Lose weight (and i seriously mean it..by july i have to atleast
try to be knock dead gorgeous..haha..the vain part of me i tell u!)
2) Do my very best in my CPU and for-go even having fun if i have to
and ensure i get my butt in medic school (Jo would kill me otherwise..hehe)
3) Learn how to appreciate life more than i have in the year before and love those who have been part of my life more than ever
4) Be a better daughter,sister,granddaughter,friend,niece and cousin..
5) Make the most of the new year and live life to the fullest!

Ive been missing Jolyn alot..somehow it doesnt seem the same when i hang out with anyone else..And ive come to realise that i now have a problem with commitment.Just the thought of it makes me wanna freak out.You know when someone likes you alot and falls in love with you even when you dont bother trying to even impress them..and they wanna be with you yet though you wont mind having someone to take care of you and love you the way you deserve to be,you just somehow can never seem to be able to just commit yourself???Like theres always this voice in my head saying "are you sure your ready and this is what you want?Will you be able to return the love?Do you really need a relationship now?Will you regret taking that leap of faith?"OH MY GOOD LORD!It scares the crap outta me..
At the same time i feel bad for treating the person that way..like even when im with him and our friends i layan his friends so much more than him..its like i shut myself from him in everyway possible coz i am afraid that by doing anything that i do he'd get the wrong signal and fall even deeper??Yet,yet he still falls!Yet he says the feelings getting deeper and that hes falling in love with me in a beautiful way??How can it be?How?When im not even treating him rite?When i pretend that i dont really care..Aiyo,serious wanna just pengsan like how Jo always says it..What am i to do with that boy??!
Ive been also wondering..do looks really matter compared to the heart?Or when we say that all that matters is the heart,arent we lying to ourselves??Or is it the truth..that love is blind and it sees beyond the outer beauty but only the inner beauty?I may have fallen very deeply in love with my first love..but i highly doubt even if i were to be in a relationship ever again it would be love..then again,life has this whole weird way of making things happen that even i as the analytical thinker that i am is unable to figure why things work out the way they do..
Besides all the drama that happens in my life (its starting to feel like those never-ending soap operas la!! =S) ,i hope that year 2007 brings us all lotsa happiness,joy and prosperity..And Jolyn Ngo,you betta run back to jaybee in June ah..id also be done by then.id come and camp in your house k?!haha..Love you peeps..

I told the story ... 11:37 AM